I came across this song again and it brought me back to three years ago..
It was the early summer of 2004. I was out of a job at that time, and just married in May of that same year. The weather was good and me and my dad were working in the garden. The radio played and it was this song that was very popular and played a lot back then. I still love it and it still brings back loads of really good, happy memories…
As the title says: I am feeling lost. All the feelings and emotions that I felt a year ago when dad became sicker all the time, returned for some reason. The thing I feared the most, is happening. And I don’t understand. I don’t know how to stop it or how to deal with it. I probably just need to let this happen and sit this one out. As my best friend said to me about 10 months ago: just sit your ass in that train and look out the window. It will pass by itself, don’t try to control or even understand everything. And I did that then, and it was like he said, some things pass by themselves, you don’t need to do anything, just sit it out. Read the rest of this entry »
Okay, one very quick, post. A have way too little time lately to properly keep this updated. In short:
I have myself a new job! Yaj! 
Starting the first of february. Sounds so far away but it’s there before you know it, time is passing by so damn fast.
My birthday was nice though I got really cool presents. Croga got me a Nintendo Wii! I absolutely love him for that 
My sis and her man gave me a really cool, gothic like sort of statue of a flying dragon that produces mist and colored lights. I will post a picture somewhere this week (if I have the time) And I got some books and money. A really good birthday for me this year.
But I am feeling miserable for a couple of weeks now. Seems like everything that happened last year, with dad getting sicker and all, has gone in some sort of re-run or something. I am scared to go to bed at night because I keep having flashbacks, seeing my dad getting sicker all the time. And because of that I don’t sleep enough, causing me to feel even more miserable than before.
All and all, life really sucks at the moment. I try to make the best of it but that’s not as easy as it sounds.
I miss my best friend to whom I could talk about these things but he has enough on his mind as it is.
I miss Croga at times, because he is playing WoW all the time. Or at least that’s how it feels right now.
I don’t feel like celebrating Christmas or new years eve. But Croga says we need to do what we always do, visit friends and family and do stuff even get ourselves a Christmas tree. I don’t know, I guess he is right though.
I guess I am just hoping for the year to be gone really soon. So the first year without my dad is behind me. They say things get different after the first year. I hope it does. I hope it gets easier in some way.
Apparently the viewers that took my blogstats sky high don’t come back, since my blogstats collapsed like a tent in the storm Never mind that, I find it highly amusing actually
2 weeks ago we finally watched Transformers the movie and I absolutely loved it! The special effects are awesome, the humorous parts are fun and I felt completely connected to the characters. If you haven’t seen it, do so. If you have, what did you think about it?
About the closure of the site, nothing more is known. But I probably have another job by januari 1st. I received an email from my old boss last week in which he asked me if I had time to come over and talk about a job opportunity. So I did, after all, looking around can sometimes give you something interesting This monday I am invited for the second round and if we can agree on the financial part I got myself a new job I will let you know next week.
First my birthday
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