I feel like crap :s Mostly because I couldn’t get myself to go to bed last night. For some vague reason the picture of my dad in his last hours is haunting me again. And at the moment I don’t know how to get rid of it or even why it popped up again yesterday.
Sis and I had a bit of a rough time yesterday afternoon at mom’s. She keeps two rabbits in the garden and one of them didn’t show himself since friday morning or something. Sis and I thought this was a bit odd and got the creepy feeling the rabbit was laying dead somewhere under ground or in his shelter. The problem with this shelter was that the opening faced the fence and the room between the opening and the fence is less than a meter. You couldn’t even get a good look inside the thing, let alone get a dead animal out of there. Unfortunately we were right, the rabbit lay dead in his shelter. It took us about an hour to get him out of there without touching him. I am very grateful my sis did most of the work. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s dead animals. I can’t even look at them, let alone touch one. It makes me shiver. Off course mom was very emotional and that made things worse. She got the rabbit on my dad’s birthday, so go figure.
And for some reason after I got home and Croga and I watched the second movie of Harry Potter, the image of my dad came haunting me and I don’t seem to be able to get rid of it.
Another thing is that March is the worst month of the year for me, with the winter blues and all. My winter depression hits an all time low. Especially when we don’t go to a warm country in february I very much suffer from lack of sunlight. Which causes emo moods again. And so you are in some kind of circle from which you can’t seem to break out. Ah well, next month things look up again. Summertime sets in by the end of the month and April can be a very good month, weather wise. Add to that our vacation to scotland the 15th of April and when May starts I will be my old self again. Untill next year…
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